OK, here’s your chance to read about our vaunted neighborhood Southwest Detective Joe Murray, aka @TheFuzz9143, in action.

Murray and his former partner in Southwest Philly, Sgt. John Hoyt, agreed to serve as doughnut testers for a Philadelphia Inquirer review of Federal Donuts, the “new, fancy-pants doughnut and fried chicken shop in Pennsport.”

Murray on Federal’s Key Lime doughnut:

“It wasn’t overly tart. I won’t eat doughnuts with filling in them – you eat it and it’s all over you. It’s too much, it’s gross,” Murray said. “But this was absolutely perfect – the concept and texture. You get the crust and crumbs from it. It even had the little crisps on it.”

Murray and Hoyt were up front about the stereotype they were playing into, but both said they are way more of coffee snobs than doughnut snobs.